I feel as if I will die here in fact death would seem better than to live in this miry clay. I don’t want to be here but I am powerless to get out. I no longer even struggle because I have realized that it is no use. All hope is gone now and I just settle in to sink completely to the bottom. I cry out in despair; "I AM MISERABLE!!!"

As I look around I begin to realize that I am not alone and there are many in this pit I have fallen into. Some of those around struggle against their chains and some fight with each other. Most just simply languish in great dejection sitting there with no hope. It becomes very plain to me that there will be no help from my fellow prisoners. How could they help me when they cannot even free themselves?

Time passes and the pain of my misery grows. My bones ache and my joints are on fire. My teeth throb continually and my head hurts. Each pulse of pain reminds me; "You are a failure!" My mind is overcome and I feel wind, cold, darkness swirling around me. I accept this throbbing accusation knowing that I am reaping what I have sown. In my shame I can only think; "I deserve even worse!"

As time passes I determine that I will make the best of my situation. Since I cannot get free I will live here. After all I have been here a while and it feels like home to me. In fact there is a sense of "comfortable" here. Nagging me in the back of my mind though is the constant misery and pain but I shrug my shoulders with acceptance thinking; "It is what it is" and it’s "all I know".

I notice there are differences between my fellow prisoners and myself. Everyone has a difference in the weight of their chains. Though all suffer there are worse sufferings than others. It wasn’t long in this pit before those with lighter sufferings begin to set themselves above those with greater sufferings. It’s a wretched and ugly system but even I soon give in to it. Though all are miserable there is something to be said for knowing that at least I’m not as despicable as the one below me…